The Menace
by OperationBlackSheep
Summary: In which Tony tries really, really hard not to wake Loki up, and an unforeseen obstacle completely derails that plan. Rated for swearing and fluff. Frostiron!


**Hey, guys!**

**I was in serious need of some Frostiron fluff, and I had a ton of work to get done, so I wrote this instead! *grins* I may end up turning it into a chain of drabbles, since drabbles rock, but in the meantime, it's a one-shot.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Warnings: Swearing. Fluff.**

* * *

Tony _eased _himself out of bed. Eased. As in, one millimeter at a time. As in, he didn't even _breathe_ until he could feel the carpet under his toes.

Beside him, Loki was sleeping for once. His body was curled into a little "C" shape, so tight that Tony could count the knobs of his spine. His breaths were slow and even, not hastened by nightmares or memories. He was serene. Peaceful.

So, naturally, Tony had to pee.

Loki's superior senses meant that it was nearly impossible not to wake his bedmate when he got up in the middle of the night. He'd received harsh words aplenty in the past (as well as the occasional pillow to the face) and had no intention of doing the same tonight.

Ergo, easing.

Tony contained his victory shout as he slid the last few inches to the floor without a peep from the bedframe. Quickly, he headed for the bathroom, dodging every creaky floor-spot to the best of his ability. A foot came down wrong, and he froze for an agonizing moment, but Loki's next breath was as steady as the ones before it. Relief eased the tension in his shoulders, and Tony resumed his tip-toing.

* * *

Ensnared by the blankets, Loki hid his smile. In the rare moments between his brashness and boldness, Tony had a tendency to be immeasurably sweet. Of course, these bursts only occurred when no one watched.

The door to the bathroom closed with a _click,_ and Loki heard Tony swear on the other side of it.

He took a deep breath, sliding a few inches towards Tony's side of the bed, where it was warm. He always enjoyed this time of the night. The stillness. The silence.

Tony screamed.

In less than a second, Loki burst through the door, a knife in one hand and a roiling ball of fire in the other. His eyes darted to and fro, seeking an enemy.

"Watch out!" Tony shrieked. He was cowering on the counter, eyes enormous. "It's coming at your foot!"

"What-?" Loki's gaze snapped towards the floor, and he paused. The knife and the fire vanished. "What is that?"

"It's a hairy motherfucking spider, and it's right next to your foot, so _kill the sonofavitch!_"

Loki stared, wondering if he had entered some bizarre dream. Stark's expression of horror bordered on theatrical. He was hugging his knees to his chest, huddling as far from the floor as he possibly could. "Is this a Midgardian custom? Fearing tiny creatures?"

"Tiny? _Tiny?_" Tony's voice took on an unnatural pitch. "Are you even _looking_ at that thing? It tried to eat me two seconds ago! It knows I don't have my suit, and I'm vulnerable, and- _shit, it's coming for me, kill it, kill it, kill it-_"

"…I see." Casting one last skeptical look at Stark, Loki flicked his fingers at the miniscule beast. With a flare and a pop, a smear of ash marred the floor where the spider had scurried.

Tony began to uncoil himself slowly. "Damn, I hate those things. With the eyes, and the pinchers, and the-" He made a face and shuddered as he touched the ground. He danced around the scorch mark, still wary.

"Yes," Loki agreed drily. "How terrifying."

Tony's gaze made its way to Loki's face, and he had the good sense to look abashed for a moment before grinning and shrugging. "Well, you know, you're my savior now." He tilted his head up slightly, still smiling cheekily.

Loki shook his head, but granted a kiss nonetheless. Tony made a hum of contentment, sliding a hand onto Loki's neck.

Abruptly, Tony pulled back with a frown. "Hey. I woke you up."

Loki nodded once, feeling almost guilty as Tony's face turned vaguely heartbroken. "Do not let it trouble you." Tony opened his mouth, but Loki hushed him. "There is always time for sleep."

"Maybe," Tony pouted as Loki guided him back into the bedroom. Once they were entrenched in the blankets and Loki's head was resting on his shoulder, he asked, "You were asleep until I… yelled, right?"

Loki smiled, eyes already closed. "Of course."

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**What do you guys think? More? Or should I stick to Dominoes?**

**Cheers,**

**BlackSheep**


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